My gripe : Sony, sometimes you really suck.

I have bit my tongue for 3 months now and just can’t do it anymore.  Why in the hell is it that every time I turn on my PS3, I have to wait for 20 minutes before I can play a game.  Were I 12, with little to do, I would likely give two shits less – cause, after all, I have dickall to do.  I on the other hand, am not 12 and usually do have shiznit that I need to do – I usually grab a quick game or two of (INSERT GAME NAME HERE) in between doing said shiznit.  But can I do that with my PS3?  NO!  Why?  Cause every damned time I turn the fucker on it starts pulling the ever so important updates.

Really, what the effin-eff, Sony.  I don’t understand why I have to pull a 5 part update every time I put a game in your SIX-HUNDRED DOLLAR CONSOLE (ok, so I have the Drake edition and some extras, but yea, $600 smackers), the damn thing steals 20 minutes of my life… I own a 360, I own a Wii – they don’t do this to me.  So, a console ultimately made for children (Wii) and a console marketed as your direct competition to your console (360) both understand my needs as a gamer a whole lot more than you apparently do – wanna take a guess at what consoles get the largest percentage of my play time?  I can give you a hint –  they don’t have a P or and S in their name (unless you spell out numbers)…

But what do you care, Sony… you got my 600 bucks.

update done… going to play Little Big Planet…

Halo 3 – v 1.1 – February 20, 2008 update

Well, Bungie released the Halo 3 v1.1 update in the early morning of Wednesday February the 20th 2008. In short the update is intended to fix some of the perceived discrepancies with the melee system in Halo 3. Apparently there have been a great deal of complaints from user who felt that they were on equal footing as their opponent going into a melee contest to only be left dead after the conflict.

Basically a melee contest comes to be when both players appear to have initiated the melee at the same time. Bungie has attempted to compensate for the 80-100 ms average latency between users by allowing a window for these melees to be judged, though this compensation did not appear to work to the average user. Many users complained that after running head first into battle with guns-a-blazing directly at their opponent, and then meleeing their opponent, that they were killed even though their attack was as accurate and as long as their opponents.

Bungie has said that this system is weighted by how many of each opponent’s bullets landed on the other leading up to the melee; something that would make sense. Though the logic for judging melees seems sound, Bungie has opted to implement a new judgement system for melee contests. In short, unless one player has a sizable health advantage over the opponent in which they are in a melee contest with, both player may be left dead at the end. When players ‘simultaneously’ execute a melee on equal footing, under the new system, equal damage will be assigned to each player hit with the melee.

Although, after reading Bungie’s write up on the issue I understand their initial melee system more, I must admit that there have been many instances where I felt that I had landed as many, if not more, bullets leading into a melee contest only to be left lying on the ground dead in the end – wanting more than anything to chunk my controller through the screen to show the Bee-otch who killed me ‘what was up’. I have not personally been able to check out the new system, but I am updated now and plan to do so shortly 🙂


The Orange Box : Portal

There has been a lot of talk about the newest Valve release; The Orange Box. On the disk is Half Life 2, HL2 Episode 1, HL2 Episode 2, Team Fortress and Portal. Released as the new game in the “Orange Box”, Portalis seemingly a new genera that is a hybrid 1st person-action-puzzle game. The single player 1st person 3d puzzle action game is set at an experimental facility where you are the lab rat for a series of 3d puzzles. These puzzles range in difficulty from setting weighted cubes on triggers to avoiding being shot by maniac (although inviting) robotic machine guns.

First I want to say “WOW” – This game kicks ass. In a word: ADDICITIVE AS HELL (ok 3 words). After trying Portal out at about 6pm, I was glued until 2 in the morn. By far, the coolest part of the game is the portal gun, which allows you to blast 2 portals in certain floor and wall materials to traverse the puzzles (go figure that the game is named ‘Portal’). I will give a warning though, I believe that if you are susceptible to motion sickness, this game may very well cause an expedited exodus of the enchiladas. The movements in the game will at times turn you on your head – literally as one portal exits you upside down from the way you entered the previous portal.

I think that likely one of the most interesting (and initially unnerving) aspects of the game is the phantom effect you get when running though portals. Imagine: You are looking across a large room at something on the other side that you need get to, so you blast a hole in the far end’s wall and the wall nearest to you and within 2 steps there you are – on the other side of the room. To further add to the phantom effect, in certain instances the character’s perspective is where you will catch yourself running though the initial portal as you exit the exit portal – I know this is hard to envision, but think: head comes out one hole as legs are going in the first 🙂 I chased my own “tail” for several minutes as I was first figuring out the game. Based on my preconceived notions of my character being male, I kept chasing the mysterious female that was appearing in my portals – it was not until I noticed the symmetry of the chase that I realized that I was actually chasing myself (yes, I do it video games too apparently).

Also, being based on the Half Life’s physics engine lends some interesting play for the environmental interaction – different materials with different properties. Add to the material properties the gravity physics of the game and you have a surprisingly responsive and realistic environment in which to play. When you combine things such as varying material properties, such as mass and density, with the physical forces of gravity what do you get? You guessed it: Inertia! With just one gun and a robust world filled with interesting physics you end up with a very exciting game with a lot of possibility. Imagine: You need more speed than is provided by dropping off a ledge… what if you blast the exit portal in the ceiling directly above the portal in the floor below the ledge? An infinitely endless hole in which to fall to pick up speed – in mid air blast a hole in the adjacent wall and you have a person cannon! Bad Ass! Really.

Another check in the pro column for Portal is the fact that not only is the game challenging and fun but it is also funny as well. There is some form of broadcasted AI talking to you throughout the game that has a very funny sense of humor – something about its rational thought logic module being removed and so its programmed inhibitions about openly discussing your pending death are cast to the wind or something like that (basically it informs you that your hard work in testing is appreciated and you will be missed when the testing is done… how nice 🙂 ). Also worth note in regards to the entertainment factor is the ending song after defeating the “boss”; “Still Alive” is freegin’ funny (not to mention catchy). I hope the provided video w/ song translates here without having played the game.

So yea… I beat the game (ending song)… with brings me to ‘THE con’: Length. I have completed the game, in about 6-7 hrs time and feel that it will likely take 2/3rds that next go (if). There are 19 levels in all, though the last “boss” level is about “4 levels” in length. They don’t shaft you completely though as you do get some extra game variants and tasks for gaining “accomplishments” after completion on “normal”.Although I do wish that there were 190 instead of 19 level, I guess that my wanting more is an indicator that the game is quality (at least to gamers who like what I like). I have to say, I love this game and would have gladly paid $60 for just it… really, this is one of the coolest games I have played in a long time and this is coming from a huge Halo 3 fan w/ Halo 3 (although that game is bad ass as well, but thats a different post (which has not been made due to its redundancy… its like writing a article on “how bad ass it is to be bas ass”…. redundant)).

All in all, Portal is great – I am happy with my purchase of the Orange Box… I got the entertainment of playing one of the most innovative games created in along time and I got 40 other games with it – for the price of 1! If you are debating this one I can definitely recommend The Orange Box (for what thats worth).